Wooden Blinds Save You Enough Money to Buy…

Blinds are pretty awesome. Not only do they add a feeling of warmth and security to any room, but they also save you money on your cursed energy bills!

In winter, when the sun goes down on an evening close them and they can help retain a huge amount of the heat. In summer, keep them down during the day and they’ll keep that unbearable 19 degree heat at bay…

I could list a bunch of stats such as 40% heat retention, but you don’t really walk into a room and exclaim ‘wow! This room feels like it has retained up to 40% of its heat! I love you blinds!’ Only us weirdos at Wooden Blinds Direct do that… Instead I thought I’d make a real world list of what fitting blinds could do for you.

The reported saving in money can be as high as 15%. An average heating bill is £600, which means you can save, if my maths is right, £90! So, where could that £90 go?

1. 26kg of Haribo – Because who needs teeth?

Eat all 26kg, see your friends four days later…

2. Three Bottles of Water – Alternatively, use tap.

It had better be the tears of angels!

3. A Haunted Doll – It’s really haunted, honest.

Even if it’s not haunted, it’s still a bit terrifying.

4. Various Monkish Moisturisers – Because enterprising monks deserve all the help they can get.

Skin Cream with added bald patch.

5. 15oz of Fake Fat – Because I don’t have enough of the real stuff… cheers Amazon.

Yeah, cheers Amazon!

6. 25kg of Myrrh – Good enough for Jesus, good enough for me.

I would accept any package these guys gave me.

7. Live Ladybirds – I have no pun…

Ah the old Adalia 2-Punctata! The spots give it away, pretty obvious really.

8. Ear Dryer – Because towels are for losers.

Dry your ears ‘the natural way’ they say.

9. Guitarlet – The internet is incredible.

Talk about a bum note! Thank you, I’m here all week…

10. Or How about someone’s soul…

Careful, he’s after you!